IT Jokes?

[Able]

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the
Flower and Jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend
5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs,
Such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed
Undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I've
Tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I
do?

Signed, Desperate ------------------


Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Try entering the command: C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME to download Tears
6.2,which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application
Works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the
Applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0
to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring
Loudly.

CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not a
supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memoryand cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I
personally
would recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

IT Support ------------------



Dear IT Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2,
which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are
apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution
was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several
other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy
6.9.
Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.
I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left
a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several
weeks.

Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the
same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each
other
they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancie 1.0, only to discover that this
product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0
tends to
use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus
and Cleanhouse 2005.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be
very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically
stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then
resurfaced
monthslater when I had forgotten about them.
Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and
can,without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These latter
products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the
problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly,
requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express
which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0
attaches itself to my Audi TT Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw,
which can't be turned off. Recently I've been tempted to install
Mistress
2005, but there could be problems.

A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects
Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of your Money before
uninstalling itself'.

[Kimmetje2004]

LMAO oldie but goodie