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 »  Home  »  Jokes  »  50 ways to scare people in the computer laboratory
50 ways to scare people in the computer laboratory
By  Super Admin  | Published  03/31/2005 | Jokes | Unrated
50 ways to scare people in the computer laboratory

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.

2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the darn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.

4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.

5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with.

6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.

7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.

8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.

9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.

10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.

11. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.

12. Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.

13. Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if they're crazy while typing.

14. Light candles around your terminal before starting.

15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say, "Oops, I forgot."

16. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.

17. "DISK FIGHT!!!"

18. Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you (It helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).

19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.

20. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.

21. Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.

22. Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 1/2" disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.

23. When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly where the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.

24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when it's all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.

25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisely. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.

26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to you. Grind some more. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.

27. If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.

28. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.

29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them on top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.

30. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.

31. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.

32. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.

33. Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.

34. Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.

35. Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.

36. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.

37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.

38. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.

39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does *your* delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!" Print out your document and leave.

40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmer's Glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)

41. Stare at the screen of the person next to you, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.

42. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.

43. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.

44. See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all your lives. Hangup before they get a chance to figure out you're a total stranger.

45. Bring a small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.

46. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.

47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily, exclaim "You're such a marvel!!", and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.

48. Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.

49. Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say, "Give me that computer or you'll be feeding my pet crocodile for the next week".

50. Two words: Tesla Coil.

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Comments
  • Comment #1 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    This is one of the funniest things i have ever seen...read since the first time i saw south park!!!
     
  • Comment #2 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    too bad i cant really try most of these out for real :D
     
  • Comment #3 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    Brightened up my day
     
  • Comment #4 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    One Word:FUNNY
     
  • Comment #5 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    LOL!
     
  • Comment #6 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    hehehe! what is Tesla Coil?
     
  • Comment #7 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    sad ones
     
  • Comment #8 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    I had sitchs in me this hole time when i was reading it. funnyest thing since... ah... Armageddon is here!!!!!
     
  • Comment #9 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    HA, HA, HA, god it was so funny. it was... how would i put it... telsa coil
     
  • Comment #10 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    OMG it was so funny! hehe... I hav3e one... 51: Run in, hiding a thing that makes a explooisoin of light and exploiding noises. heres whart you do: work for 5 minutes. Put it near you neigbor.... and set it off. Then you push it towards him, surprised as the other guy looks. These where funny. :O HAAHAHA!
     
  • Comment #11 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    haha that's funny! i'm kinda computer retarded and i have actually done a few of these things like the kinda stupid ones by accident like the shakespear thing and eating the mouse i'm so cool!! btw what's a telsa coil? i have a feeling that if i know what it is i'll knw what to do with it lol
     
  • Comment #12 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    This is so hilarious....Really great :D
     
  • Comment #13 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    No.. it's not funny. It seems as though 80% of the people commenting on this must have some sort of mental disorder; sorry folks but the real world operates above an IQ of 50. Such useless junk.
     
  • Comment #14 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    because it was so funny i almost pissed myself. LOL !!!!!!
     
  • Comment #15 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    jeez 1 ov da most weird n cool thngs i ve read snce a lng lng tme, too bad i knt try da mst funny ones!!!
     
  • Comment #16 (Posted by Geyr)
    Rating
    And another trick: bring in some correcting fluid, open a Word Document and dab the fluid randomly over the screen, just like you would on paper, print off the document and complain that the changes didn't take!
     
  • Comment #17 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    hilarious... I have to try some of this in college... lol :P
     
  • Comment #18 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    if u read it you will find out.
     
  • Comment #19 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    Useless
     
  • Comment #20 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    halarious.
     
  • Comment #21 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    You might get fired from doing the work. Any way very funny
     
  • Comment #22 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    funny!!!
     
  • Comment #23 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    BECAUSE IT WAS SO FUNNY!
     
  • Comment #24 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    yawwwwnnnnn.....
     
  • Comment #25 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    bad one
     
  • Comment #26 (Posted by an unknown user)
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    i'm sitting in computer lab between classes and am very board i will try a few of these, some are a little extreme though but hey all the more fun when i try them right?
     
  • Comment #27 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    love it
     
  • Comment #28 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    Really stupid.
     
  • Comment #29 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    worst list *ever*
     
  • Comment #30 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    Thats ossom
     
  • Comment #31 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    very funny :D
     
  • Comment #32 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    REEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAALy funny
     
  • Comment #33 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    Fantastic Blunder, Great work, never repeat this again.
     
  • Comment #34 (Posted by an unknown user)
    Rating
    just do not share the humor
     
  • Comment #35 (Posted by towoz@hotmail.com)
    Rating
    "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt. absolutely hilarious, i'd like to try it but now retired, what a shame
     
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